The Role-Model Mindset (Embrace Imperfection)

Hi friend, how have you been? It's been a while.

I’ve been MIA for a good reason—new year, new plans, new endeavors. Lots of fun news coming soon! The book launch at the NY Public Library was a huge success, with readers from all over and familiar faces I hadn’t seen in years. But today’s newsletter isn’t about the event—it’s about the role-model mindset - which is not about the pursue of perfection but, instead, quite the opposite. It is about being real and honest with yourself. It is about being human.

A reader recently reached out with a deeply moving message. The Waves We Ride gave her the strength to face one of life’s toughest waves—losing her job. She said the book helped her move forward with resilience and self-compassion. Her words made me reflect on the stories I share and why I wrote the book—not to be a role model, but to show that you already have the strength within you. It is just a matter of embracing the imperfections (the ups and downs) of your own path.

Her message was a powerful reminder that none of us are perfect—and that true integrity and honesty come from how we navigate life’s toughest waves. That, to me, is what being a role model is all about. Many of us mistakenly believe role models must be perfect, but in reality, it’s the opposite. It’s about being honest with ourselves.

I replied to her, thanking her for sharing this moment with me. I told her she already had the strength to ride this wave—she just hadn’t tapped into it yet. In her mind, she didn’t believe she had what it took, but she did all along. By accepting her reality and being honest about her feelings, she was already showing her strength and being a role model to her new self.

Being a role model means embracing our flaws, owning our mistakes, and modeling what it means to learn and grow. It means showing up with honesty and vulnerability. It’s about accepting that we are human—and that being human is enough.

You might be thinking, “But Ladyane, can you give me real-life examples of what you mean?” Absolutely, I can!

The first that comes to mind is motherhood. This is my story—I know every mother is different. But in my family, I’m intentional about teaching emotional regulation (hello, Zones of Regulation). If one of my kids has an emotional outburst or bursts into tears, I don’t send them to their room or tell them to stop. Instead, I embrace them and say, “It’s okay, you can be human with me. Let’s go through this together.” I want them to know that crying isn’t wrong, their feelings are valid, and there’s no shame in expressing emotions. I’m not saying every mom should do this—I’m saying this is what works for me and my family. We enjoy it and see positive outcomes from it.

And sometimes, my own kids remind me of what I’ve been modeling—the imperfection of simply being human. The other day, I got frustrated with my son. My oldest saw it and gently said, “Mommy, I’m sure you didn’t mean to talk to him that way. I know you may have a lot on your mind. Maybe explain that to him and repair?” That moment hit me—my 9-year-old was reflecting the very lessons I’ve been trying to model. Here’s the thing about kids: they can’t be lectured, but they will mirror everything we do. So, I embrace imperfection, acknowledge my mistakes, and when I hurt someone, I repair. I repaired with my son that day.

The same role-model mindset applies in the workplace. When someone hesitates to speak up in a meeting, I’m the first to ask a so-called “stupid” question (for the record: there’s no such thing). By modeling curiosity and openness, I create space for others to do the same. The result? More people ask questions, and suddenly, solutions start emerging simply because everyone feels comfortable speaking up. It’s also about education—if someone lacks context, it’s an opportunity to share knowledge rather than judge or criticize. This, to me, is Role Modeling 101.

Another example? Marriage. A role-model mindset in marriage is a game changer. Some couples get stuck in the cycle of trying to “win” arguments, forgetting that the goal isn’t to win—it’s to understand each other. Disagreements will happen, but how we handle them matters. Modeling respectful dialogue, prioritizing understanding, and honoring each other’s feelings creates lasting harmony and love—without resentment or fear.

Reading my reader’s message about how The Waves We Ride helped her through a tough time made me realize my intent is working. My goal in publishing the book was to send this message: You have the power to take charge of your life, no matter how rough the wave is. And she got it! I know she’ll ride this wave with grace and confidence, no matter what comes next.

So today, I invite you to reflect: How can you embrace a role-model mindset in your life? Not by striving for perfection but by showing—through your actions, words, and honesty—what it truly means to be human.

With love and gratitude,

Ladyane